About

From grad school aspiring therapist to life coach

How I Became a Life Coach

After a year of sobriety (top left), I stopped numbing and started feeling. I trusted my intuition and uncovered my true passion - helping others heal and find their purpose.

I applied and attended Pacifica Graduate School to pursue a degree in Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy (Year 2). After completing two and a half years of school, while parenting three children ages 5, 3, and 2, separating from my husband, going through a divorce, and the loss of my father, I decided to take a break (Year 4).

Still feeling called to help others heal and grow, I pursued my Life Coaching Certification from the Levin Life Coach Academy, based on the work of Best-Selling Author and Master Life Coach, Nancy Levin.

I became a certified Life Coach (Year 5), and while I'm grateful for my grad school learnings, I realized coaching is my jam! The difference between therapy and coaching is that therapy emphasizes psychopathology and diagnostics, and treats mental illness. Therapy tends to have more of a past and present focus, while coaching is more focused on achieving future goals.

Coaching is often defined as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. As a coach, I get to guide clients to tap into their own inner knowing as a way of creating what is best for them in their own lives. Coaching focuses on dissolving obstacles and blocks that keep clients from achieving the life they desire.

Coaching focuses on visioning, commitment, action and accountability in the present, moving toward the future. I finally feel I have found my purpose and passion to help clients get from where they are to where they want to go.

My Journey

BECOMING A MOM

Happily ever after, said all the movies.

Then what?

I got married and had no clue what it would be like. We were happy and in love, traveled and had fun, and like the majority of couples, decided it was time to start a family.

Having my first child did a 180 on my life. My son was colicky, and I'm pretty sure I didn't produce enough milk for his growing body. Combine that with lack of sleep and I had the baby blues, which in hindsight was probably undiagnosed postpartum depression, but my doctor told me, "it's normal to cry daily with a newborn," so I went with it. Six weeks postpartum, I remember being aware of the feeling of the sun on my face for the first time. I finally felt out of the fog, yet I still felt 'off.'

Something wasn't right.

I had the life others desired: married, easily got pregnant, financially safe, yet I felt I was poor and lacking in other areas. I felt I had no purpose and was told (and believed) from outsiders that being a mother was all the purpose I needed. I became irritable and stressed with my husband easily.

I realized I went from drinking in high school, to drinking in college, to drinking at work happy hours, and revolving my weekends around drinking right into having kids.

Wham.

MOTHERHOOD FOR ME

No more weekends revolved around drinking. There weren't enough hours in the day to feed my son, let alone have the stamina for a drink. I took a nap every chance I got, but once he started to sleep more, so did I, and I couldn't wait to have my first real drink. Popping open a bottle of wine after my son's bedtime seemed like the only thing to alleviate the stress of a long day. I wasn't about to leave him sleeping and head to the bars, but I could feel the wash of relief as soon as the wine hit my lips. I also didn't have to pay for a sitter (only the bottle of wine).

One glass became two, and many times an empty bottle.

My drinking went from occasional-to-nightly and I did start hitting the bars again as soon as I started to wean off breastfeeding. I was finally ready for "Moms Night Out", glorified by every movie about parenthood I've ever seen.

Going back to my old ways was an understatement. Many times I woke up with a hangover and thought it was 'normal' because my single-friends were still doing it, and my mom-friends were almost all sharing my nightly wine habit, which made it okay... right?

Many drinks (only abstaining when pregnant) and 2 more babies later, God had gifted me a total of 3 children in 4 years and all I could think was: what was He thinking?

I don't have the patience for this and my wine fridge doesn't hold enough alcohol.

THE FALL

October 15th, 2018

A sober fall on the stairs changed everything. I was doing a juice cleanse and I decided not to drink for 3 days. Day one proved more difficult than I would have thought, but I was doing "fine" (story of my life).

That night I headed down my dark staircase to the garage to get the juices out of the freezer for the next day. At the very bottom I missed a step and heard the *snap*. Trying to convince myself (and my husband) it was a sprain, I went to bed, only to wake up at midnight in raging pain. In the morning I found the nearest orthopedic office and drove myself to hear the news: I had a spiral break on the thickest part of my 5th metatarsal in my foot and they wanted to do surgery. I declined (with guidance from outside doctor's opinions saying letting it heal on its own was the way to go), got my air cast and hobbled out on crutches and in tears.

"I don't have time for this," I thought.

But God obviously had other plans for my time.

As I assessed my future that night I decided not to drink until I was off my crutches, which looked like 2 weeks.

Easy, I thought. I had already gotten through day one.

GRAY AREA DRINKING

I had a lot of time to think about how much I depended on alcohol as a stress reliever and, like any good mom, I went to the World Wide Web to find answers to my nagging habit.

That night I sat on my couch and Googled:

"GIRL THAT FEELS LIKE ALCOHOLIC BUT ISN'T ONE"

A whole host of information came up, including Holly's blog and information on gray area drinking. Gray area drinking is when you realize alcohol is negatively impacting your life, but you haven't hit "rock bottom."

That was it, I thought! I'm a gray area drinker.

What I found is there is an entire culture rising up from this same feeling. This feeling that I have become dependent on alcohol as a stress reliever and I 'deserve it' because I've had a hard day with the kids.

Women (and men) are noticing the mommy wine culture perpetuates this feeling providing alcohol everywhere from kids birthday parties to Moms Nights Out, of which I used to be the biggest proponent, always making sure there was enough alcohol for everyone to over-consume if they felt the need to as well.

I was on physical crutches a little over a week when I started to realize I was actually using drinking as a crutch for so long.

It was all jaw-dropping and eye opening. I couldn't do enough research.

RESEARCH

November 2019

I spent 3 weeks analyzing how I felt, reading and researching. How could these sober-curious people stop drinking on their own? I didn't know anyone who didn't drink unless they went to AA and I surely wasn't friends with anyone sober. My whole life revolved around when and where my next drink would be. It was rare any time an activity didn't include it.

Whether I was happy or sad, alcohol played a part in almost every experience of my life.

In November I went on a girl's trip to Palm Springs without making any sort of commitment to myself to see what it felt like going through a trip without drinking, so I drank.

Nothing "bad" happened except a hangover, but I knew I didn't feel good.

I abstained the second night of the trip with resolve I would take another extended break and 'get through' the holidays.

Getting through is all I did. I was devouring sober podcasts, books, blogs and instagrams, but it still felt so lonely and isolated not being able to talk to anyone but strangers on the internet.

After 80 days of abstaining from alcohol, I went on a trip to NYC and drank again. There was no rhyme or reason.

I needed the research.

Again, nothing "bad" happened, but I got home to my husband and 3 young kids, looking into their innocent eyes thinking, at what age did I decide I needed an outside substance to make me 'happy.' Right then and there I decided enough was enough. I was done.

No crazy rock bottom. No DUI. No jail. No rehab. No one forcing me.

I quit. I quit the booze and I quit the lies that went along with it.

GRATEFUL ALCOHOLIC

May 2019

After 3 months of "dry drunk" sobriety, I knew I couldn't do it alone anymore or I would go back to drinking,

which I now knew would solve nothing.

I went back to the world wide web, but this time: Facebook. I typed "sober" in the search bar in hopes of finding sober mom groups or similar resources. Results popped up, including a post from a friend from elementary school I hadn't seen or spoken to in 20 years. He posted, "8 years clean and sober today! Tremendously grateful for my friends and family and the life I have created here in Los Angeles."

There's a fine line between fear and bravery and in that moment I got brave. I direct messaged him telling him how I had tried to stay sober on my own, would love to hear how he did it

and maybe grab coffee sometime.

He graciously wrote back his experience, strength and hope. He mentioned alcoholics anonymous, how he had a healthy balance of sober friends and 'normie' friends and that the stigmas weren't true. Soon after we had a phone call, he gave me the numbers of 4 sober women and I had calls with them. I got even braver and stepped into my first meeting scared out of my mind, but hopeful for the first time all year.

Alcoholics Anonymous is what ended up working for me. Through going to meetings, working the steps and being of service to others, I was able to remove all my negative thoughts (never thought it was possible) and start living my life from a place of yes. Yes to being true to myself. I now FEEL all my feelings and have a support system I rely on daily.

AA taught me how to love myself for the first time in my life.

My Mission

My Mission

My Mission

I Am

My Mission

My Mission

From grad school aspiring therapist to life coach

How I Became a Life Coach

My Journey

BECOMING A MOM

MOTHERHOOD FOR ME

THE FALL

GRAY AREA DRINKING

RESEARCH

GRATEFUL ALCOHOLIC

Reinvent Your Life Today